Affirming Communication—Mindful Listening to and Speaking with Children

This week I observed one of the many time that my child was playing with her grandfather. She loves play doh and cooking. She pretends to cook all kinds of food. This particular she decide to cook hot dogs. She said pa-pa I’m cooking hotdogs for you, and he said to her I don’t want hot dogs. So she ask him “what do you want then”? He told her that he wanted some chicken, and she said, “ok, I’ll make you some chicken”. In the mist of them playing she stated that she was thirsty and wanted some juice. My father told her to come and ask me. I told her no she can have some water. So she folded her arms and walked away. She went back and told my father, “mommy said no, can I have some juice pa-pa”. He told her that she could not have any because I already said no and she began to throw a tantrum and he gave in and gave her some juice.

I feel that my father handle the situation all wrong. Instead of giving into my child when she threw the tantrum he could of tried to calm her and then talk to her. Now she thinks that every time that she wants something all she has to do is cry and throw a tantrum, which is not the right idea. My child is two years old, but she holds a conversation as if she was an older child. I set and talk with her about various things throughout the day. When I explain to her why she should or should not do something she always ask why and I explain to her why and I usually never have the problem again. But my father went against what I said and she will continue to repeat the same thing again.